Seriously?????

Colby's "Doggles" arrived. I have seen photos of search and rescue dogs wearing goggles to protect them from dust and debris at crash sites and such, but SERIOUSLY how the heck does one train a dog to keep them on? I kind of thought the mesh thing would help get her used to wearing something on her head. NOT!!! She would really like to know what I have been smoking and perhaps I could go "on the wagon". She is sure I have lost my mind and haven't a clue what proper dog care is all about and the thought has occurred to her to report me to the humane society. She has decided if she has to wear these she is running away from home and would like to know if any of you would take her. She is housetrained, alerts intruders, requires very little except for faux fur snuggle beds in every room in the house. I tried to tell her to stop being such a baby, it's all for her own good, cutting out the UV rays from entering her lens since her irises do not constrict properly any more. She is sure I have joined the land of Hollywood and soon will be asked to ride around in a pink purse with sequined collar and lace slippers and her solution is to simply squint and there is no need to worry about Irises, those can be cut and put in vases or planted along the driveway.