Wednesday, February 22, 2012


OK, I am going to admit here that I am not a doodle fan. At least, not of the giant variety. The smaller ones are cuter, to a point. Sure, they can be really nice dogs sometimes, but so often they just seem very dumb, big, dirty, not at all visually appealing to me. I know, snob, right? Standard poodles do nothing for me visually, either. I know they are very smart dogs, but visually, nothing, nada, ugly. Sorry doodle/poodle fans!!! And I know some really sweet ones, but visually....ugly.

This morning on our walk we learned we have a new neighbor. A giant, grey, ugly, goofy, doodle. We heard and saw the guy in his car calling for his dog. As we headed back through the woods we could hear the dog barking. GREAT, I envision it standing in the manure pile barking at the horses. I have our three approaching and that just isn't going to go well. My dogs don't "do" doodle. Thank goodness Rich was with me and I handed him a leash and some cookies and I stayed in the woods with our three. He got the goofy thing on a leash and headed off to the house we were pretty sure the dog belonged. Of course, no ID on it's collar. >:/ Guy just moved in, right, no ID. Shit.

Poor Rich, the guy is still out driving around apparently. He returns with the doodle and we are about to tether it and call the police hoping the guy has reported it missing. We aren't TOTALLY sure it belongs at the house we think. Suddenly the guy drives past and we wave and he comes in. Um...........hi there dude, you need some ID on this dog..........I look up and the guy has a HUGE pile of chaw in his mouth. OMG, I seriously felt my stomach turn. We do introductions he explains why no ID......yeah, whatever, there IS no good excuse.........and then proceeds to exclaim how he knows us through Rich's brother. I am SO grossed out I can barely keep talking to the guy and force a smile on my face and try like heck to be neighborly. It's before NINE and the guy can barely talk he has so much shit in his mouth.

And to think I took off my glove to shake his hand because it had his doodles slimey manure drool on it. Not sure someone with a mouthful of ick would really care about manure drool doodle slime? Sorry, that was simply the most disgusting thing so early in the morning and definitely NOT a nice first impression. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW.................GROSS ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! That is DISGUSTING!!!!!!! The only saving grace is at least he didn't have a cigarette hanging from his mouth and so that I would have to breath the second hand smoke or get the smell on MY hands after the handshake. But, still, it just turns my stomach. And I'm sorry nice new neighbor if you are reading this, your mouthful of ick is disgusting. It just is!!! GROSS!!!!!

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