Monday, November 12, 2012

Chicken stories

We went to a Cape Farm Alliance thank you dinner meeting last night. Not many farmers there, but lots of folks who volunteer as if they are farmers, to help the farmers. Anyway, some are small time "farmers" with little flocks of laying chickens. Some allow them to free range. But, the talk last night was all about the death of these chickens by foxes and coyotes. So much so that several are regrouping and will be starting over. One has just one chicken left.

Anyway, one lady spoke about her small flock free ranging around her house when a family and their dog walked by and the dog slipped out of the hands of the people and attacked the chickens. One ended up with it's ass bit off. The kids at the home were devastated and dad agreed to take the chicken to the vet. The vet has to suture the ass back on the chicken. The mom is working at the time, but getting updates. She arrives home to the chicken with a cone on it's head, so it doesn't peck out it's ass stitches and a note saying it needs ointment and tending to three times/day. OK, to this point I was just chuckling, but by the time I heard it had a cone on it's head the tears were streaming as I was laughing SO hard. I said that I think MY solution might have been to sharpen the ax, but I guess without kids or if you grow up on a working farm, that is the solution. With suburban kids, off to the vet went the chicken.

She then proceeds to tell us it cost them $300. O-MY-GOD, I am again tearing with laughter!!! $300 would buy a LOT of eggs! The chicken lived.

The next story was a fox story. Wife usually heads to the barn to feed night time hay to the horses and close in the chickens for the night. Trouble was husband wants to watch a movie and be in bed by 10:00. This puts a crimp on her nighttime barn chores and puts it all off by about an hour. Whatever, no biggie, right? Well, after the movie she heads out and the dogs start barking like crazy. Feathers are everywhere. She opens the chicken coop and all but three are in there looking wide eyed and nervous. She spends an hour searching for the other chickens and nothing. They must be gone, eaten. She heads in and goes to bed. OK, so now you have to know this part..............she and her husband sleep naked. This is important to the story. She falls asleep and just as she is dozing into deep sleep she is awakened by this horrible chicken squawking!!! She bolts out of bed and runs outside, stark naked holding her "headlights", runs around trying to find the chicken and spots it...........totally naked itself, no feathers at all, squawking and carrying on like crazy. Amazingly, it looks fine, otherwise. She forgets about her "headlights" and just throws away her vanity and tries to gather up the chicken. She is chasing/herding it around and something catches her eye..........husband has arrived now, shot gun in hand.........naked. At that point NO one is not hysterically laughing!!!! OMG!!! This is in Cape Elizabeth!!!
They manage to gather up the naked chicken and put her in the coop and head back to bed. Not long after they hear another one making crazy noises!!!! The story essentially repeats itself except that husband takes the time to dress some and wife ends up going back in for a bathrobe. They end up saving two featherless chickens and only lost the one.

The other story was about a frozen chicken. The one chicken left from a fox devastation ended up keeping itself safe, but hanging with the cows at night. However, one night it fell in the water trough. This was winter and the poor thing froze!!! The teenage daughter comes into the house with the rock hard frozen chicken crying and carrying on. Mom says the head isn't frozen and must have stayed above the water, so maybe it isn't dead. She tells the daughter to take it to the bathroom and blow dry it. About 2 hours later the chicken got up and walked away!!!! :D

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